


Amazing, Because It Is

by Dance_Elle_Dance



Category: Gossip Girl, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Turned Into Vampire, Coping, Crossover, Drama, F/M, Romance, the UESers (sans Nate) are hardly in it but I tagged them anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 03:35:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4548747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dance_Elle_Dance/pseuds/Dance_Elle_Dance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nate awakens to his new life with brilliant red eyes and eternal youth. He also finds the one thing he had been looking all this time for. Her. Too bad it took him "dying" for that to happen. (Originally posted on 10/25/09.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amazing, Because It Is

**Author's Note:**

> Re-post of my first venture into the Gossip Girl/Twilight crossover fandom. I really enjoyed writing this at the time so I hope y'all enjoy reading it. Nate/Rosalie just fit well to me. Thanks for reading!

One of his last memories before the _incident_ is her.

He saw her standing amongst the socialites of the rich Upper East Side during a party. Something for New Years, of course. They'd always had a party to celebrate the coming of a new year, resolutions were always made, and more often than not, he would end up with a beautiful woman on his arm.

That was beside the point, he supposed, and his mind drifted back to her appearance. The rays of light bounced off of her long, golden hair, reminding him instantly of Serena. A vivid red dress adorned her perfect body. Her eyes were the most peculiar color of gold that he had ever seen and he wondered if she wore contacts…

He doesn't remember what he was thinking when he walked up to her, confidence oozing out of his stride - probably channeling Chuck Bass, ironically enough - and offered his hand gently, saying with some awkwardness, "Nate…Nate Archibald…"

She smirked at him, her full lips curving upward as she touched his hand with hers. He marveled at how cold it was. He looked at her perfectly symmetrical face in silent awe. How had he not met her before? "Rosalie."

That was all she gave him.

He had gone off later, after some idle chit-chat with her, and found Serena and Blair, who were talking respectively with Dan and Chuck.

During the course of the night, he tried to find her once again, but she was no where.

She had vanished, but he could never even imagine the circumstances under which he would see her again.

He had been walking home that very night when it happened. There was no woman on his arm for once. The only woman anywhere near him was the one very vaguely referred to as Rosalie, and she was only present in his thoughts.

But then, as strode along the sidewalk, he looked down an alleyway and saw her.

For a moment, he thought she was a figment of his imagination, but after blinking and rubbing his eyes several times, he noticed that she hadn't moved. She was trying to calm a much larger, intimidating man with curly hair, her hands pressed to his chest, her lips moving so fast that he wondered if she was even talking at all.

A brisk night breeze picked up, chilling him to the core and blowing his hair around his features. As if that alone had notified the two of his presence.

He heard the golden haired woman shouting, "Emmett, _no_!"

The last thing he remembered was the sharp press of teeth against his throat and the screams of people around him.

\---

Fire.

There was fire, scorching him and charring him from the inside out, it seemed.

He wanted to hit something, though he knew that would only aggravate the flames further.

Screaming would do no good, he knew. He had been screaming for a while now, but to no avail. But, damn, it did help to be able to release some of his frustration he felt.

He still didn't know what was happening to him, but he knew that with every passing minute, the flames seemed to intensify, searing him with utter pain, bringing him to the brink of death, which he had begged for a few times already.

He was scared. Was this hell? Had he been that bad of a person, not gone to church enough…now he was being burned in the flames of purgatory? An eternity of this…he knew he couldn't deal with it.

Another primal shriek tore itself from his throat as the flames continued on.

\---

After a while, the pain became more manageable.

Was it going away? No, Nate refused to believe something like that. Maybe he had just gotten used to it, or he was in a state of delirium from the torture that had been wracking his body.

But, then, after that fleeting thought, he felt it move. The pain seemed to move through his body, before focusing solely on his heart. It was hot, too hot, and it seemed that his heart would explode from the combination of the heat and how fast the organ was pumping.

Then, nothing.

No heartbeat. He couldn't feel it throbbing in his chest. The pain was gone completely, but it seemed to have taken his heart with it.

What the hell was going on?

Steeling himself for what was to come, he opened his eyes.

Everything was so _clear_.

It was like he had been blind before, and now he was seeing everything in stunning clarity that left him reeling. Like his vision before was just a cheap old television with static, and now he could see every detail, every minute thing, like he had been upgraded to a high definition flat screen.

If he wasn't so confused, he would've laughed at his own comparison. He took in a breath and felt the whistling of air move down his throat. Even that sensation was more sensitive, and with it, he gasped, the process repeating itself.

"You're finished."

The voice was delicate and intriguing in his ears. He shot up and was on his feet before his mind had time to react. His eyes wheeled to where the voice was coming from and he felt himself crouch down, his mind preoccupied with what was now considered a threat. "Who are you?"

He almost jumped again at the sound of his own voice. It was melodic, charming, and elegant all at the same time. The delicate tones caressed each word he spoke, making him stiffen with shock.

"Calm down," the girl said. She was petite, her dark hair in a pixie cut and her golden eyes looking at him with barely suppressed amusement, but there was something else there. A sadness that was tinged with bitterness. He wondered where that had come from. "We'll explain everything…if you want to hear it."

"Hell yeah, I do," he snapped, and he felt a growl rumble through his chest.

Growl? Since when did he _growl_?

The small girl just laughed bitterly, the sound like the tinkling of bells.

"Follow me."

Without a clue of what else to do, he walked after the small girl with a new, graceful gait.

\---

So, he was a vampire.

A _vampire_.

Something that Nate thought had only existed in legends and fairy tales was an actual reality. Of course, there were a few differences. This vampire family he had been brought into was "vegetarian," meaning that they only drank the blood of animals. They didn't turn to dust in the sun, rather, they _sparkled_. That was something he'd have to see to believe.

What had happened that night was simple. Emmett, who was the large man that Rosalie had been trying to calm down, had jumped him in front of a crowd of people. Apparently, the pull of his blood was too strong for the bulky vampire to ignore - they said something vaguely of being yet another "singer" - and he went at him then and there, in the middle of the street, sinking his teeth deep into his neck.

He had drained him almost dry of blood before Rosalie and a few others had been able to pull him away. He was alive, but barely, and the vampires had reluctantly let the transformation take place, not wanting to be responsible for another death on their hands.

The flames he had felt were the result of him transforming into something…inhuman. Deadly, immortal, and _beautiful_.

He had been attractive in his human life, of course, but when Alice - the little black haired vampire - had pulled out a large mirror, holding it so it overshadowed her entire figure, and placed it in front of him, he saw what changes had taken place. He had gasped, holding his hand to touch his cheek slightly, as if touching what had changed about him could make it make sense in his suddenly all-too-spacious mind.

His features were perfect, symmetrical in only the way that the other vampires had been. His skin was pale, like the color of snow, and his eyes…

Instead of the vibrant green he was used to seeing, his eyes were now a terrible red, and that chilled him to the core of his steel-like bones.

Noticing his reaction, a young girl with brown hair and the same golden eyes spoke up. Bella was her name, if he remembered correctly, and he knew he did, since nothing seemed to be forgotten in this mind of his. "They'll change in time. Red to gold. The animal blood will dilute the color." She spoke as if she had been on the receiving end of that line before.

Nate nodded, even that gesture seemed unnaturally swift. But then his mind focused on something else, "Where's that guy…Emmett?"

Simultaneously, five faces crumpled into despair in different forms.

The Volturi - a secret vampire association that made sure the "rules" were being followed - had come just a day after the incident, deeming Emmett a "problem" that they had to deal with. Too many people had seen. Their secret had been exposed, and the most jovial of the Cullens had to deal with the consequences, being silenced forever.

He immediately felt guilty. It was his fault, wasn't it?

"No," a vampire with tousled bronze hair - Edward - said, his golden eyes penetrating, as if answering the question in his head. "It isn't."

Nate had trouble believing that.

Suddenly, it hit him, like a ton of bricks. He had been to preoccupied with finding out his current position in life that he had completely missed the mind-numbing, all-consuming thirst that scorched his throat. Jasper, the blonde vampire with the Southern accent, came forward, his eyes locked on the young Archibald. "You're thirsty."

Nate blinked, wondering how he could be so intuitive, and nodded once more, a gesture seeming commonplace when he could barely form a sentence after being so blindsided with this new lifestyle.

"Obviously he would be," a familiar voice chirped up, obnoxious and intoxicating at the same time.

The former member of the UES turned, his eyes locking on the breathtaking figure in the doorway. He hadn't seen her until now, and it was enough to get his heart going exceptionally fast.

"I'll take him hunting," she ventured brokenly. Her impeccable hair was tied into a low tail, out of her grief-ridden face. Golden eyes stared forward blankly, seeing and unseeing at the same time. "The least I can do."

"Rose…" Esme, the "mother" of the Cullens, spoke up, her eyes sad. "You don't have to."

"He's like this because I didn't have the strength to stop Em…" She trailed off, as if unable to voice his entire name without shuddering. She swallowed, gathering herself before she spoke again, "I could at least help him get used to… _this_ k." She made a crazy gesture with her hand as her eyes hardened slightly, as if this existence was anything but the picture of forever that the rest of her family created.

Alice pushed Nate forward with a slight giggle. It felt strangely out of place in the room that was leaden with the fresh loss. "Go."

He looked back at her, a question in his eyes, but she looked at him knowingly, her eyes betraying something that he couldn't put his finger on. Nate sighed and looked at Rosalie. "If it isn't too much trouble…so, where are the…uh, animals?"

Rosalie laughed, her voice bitter with the resentment and the sorrow she felt for the newest member into this lifestyle. "Follow me."

And she jumped out the second story window.

Nate looked from the window to the Cullens and back to the window, his large eyes incredulous and disbelieving at what he had just saw. Edward nodded his head to the window, and the way he was looking at him reminded him of Dan for some reason.

Shrugging, he jumped out of the window, seeing nothing else left to lose.

 _Happy New Year,_ he thought sardonically to himself.

\---

His first kill was a bear.

Nate didn't know what came over him, but his teeth were in the bear's throat before he could think otherwise. It was as if his mind was on autopilot and his instincts were the only thing driving him. The moment he saw the male grizzly, large and powerful and domineering and thick with the scent of blood, he struck.

He drank and drank until his thirst was somewhat quenched. But even after the bear was drained, his throat still burned. His hand flew up to the column of his throat as the searing pain returned. Glancing over at Rosalie, his eyes were searching, only to find her staring in nostalgia at the bear carcass at his feet, golden eyes betraying everything and nothing all at once.

"Something wrong?" Nate asked, his deep and newly chime-like voice vibrating through the empty forest.

A bitter smirk crossed her lips and Rosalie only voiced once sentence, but it seemed that the one statement said it all.

"Bears were Emmett's favorite."

\---

"You're going to have to fake your death."

" _What_?"

"You've been missing for about a week, and you can't go back to your family like this."

"…"

"It'll be tricky. You'll have to hold your breath so you don't smell human blood. You are still a newborn, so your control is limited. If you were to smell human blood, you wouldn't be able to stop yourself."

"Yeah…"

"It's for the best."

Nate could only wonder if that was the truth.

\---

The funeral was one of the hardest things he had endured in his life - or afterlife, however you looked at it.

Though his eyes were closed, laying in that casket while everyone walked around him to pay their respects, he could sense what was happening. He could hear their gasps as they saw how different his face was. How pale his skin was. How he didn't _look_ dead, but he most certainly was.

His father, mother, Chuck, Serena, Vanessa, even Dan and Jenny, all passed by, paying their respects. It was shocking how much people opened up when someone they cared about was dead. Chuck even mentioned having a "passing fancy" for him just a few years ago. He almost smiled at that.

Then came Blair. He couldn't open his eyes, but he felt the tears that pattered onto his forehead and felt the familiar silk of lips against his forehead. "I love you, Nate."

 _You too, Blair. Always._ His unbeating heart feeling like lead in his chest, because though he said it and meant it, he could only think of another woman that had haunted him to this very moment.

Rosalie.

\---

Everyone has breaks in control.

Even vampires.

He found this out the hard way, just by a lapse in self control involving a poor jogger and his hair-trigger thirst.

That led to him having a dead girl at his feet, drained of blood, a heavy, dead heart, and feeling what it truly meant to be _what he was._

\---

She found him, covered in blood and with his head in his hands, burying his face into his palms, sobbing in a way only vampires could.

She placed her hand on his shoulder and leaned down, her sweet smell immediately overtaking his brain. He looked up into those golden eyes and saw her staring at him in pity, the picture of sympathy despite what everyone around her said.

"Everyone slips up, Nate."

He started at the sound of his name coming from her lips. But then the words she told him rattle around in his head. "So…this is….this is what this life is? Blood and more blood. Always trying to not slip up and _murder_ someone?"

Rosalie nodded, her eyes somber but appreciative. "Some of us see it that way, yes."

"Some?"

"Other members…are interested in the novelty of forever…what it entails. It's apparently a very romantic notion to some. To me, however, it's a curse."

"I see it your way."

Her lips are surprisingly warm against the crown of his forehead. " _Finally_ someone who gets it."

Nate laughed, the sound deeper and bell-like, but tinged with bitterness. The bitterness that he thought he only heard in Rosalie's voice when she was around him. But now, the bitterness was gone, and only replaced with sympathy.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I'm sorry, too," he replied.

And, for the first time since his transformation, they understand each other.

\---

One day, when they were alone Rosalie felt particularly generous, she told him about her past.

Nate looked at her, entranced at her every word. How she enunciated every syllable, how her eyes would darken at some parts, how they would lighten when she mentioned her friend Vera and her little boy. He watched her lips curl in a bitter smile at some parts, and other times, her face would look absolutely frightening as she recounted the fact that she had murdered her former fiancé and all of his friends that had violated her…

He didn't think twice when he reached forward and clasped her hand with his, squeezing with his newborn strength.

She obviously wasn't thinking when she pressed her lips to the crown of his hair.

Nate also didn't think his heart could beat on its own again, but with her, it did.

\---

"What do you miss about being human?"

The question seemed to come out of nowhere, asked by the statuesque blonde beside him. They were laying in a quaint little meadow, their bodies immersed in a sea of flowers and tall green grass that spread out in front of them like an ocean. She laid beside him, her eyes trained solely on his square jaw, his noble profile, as he looked into the blue, cloudy sky in the city they had transferred to - some dinky little town called Forks.

Nate smirked when the question reached his ears. He was pretty sure it was freezing out, but he couldn't tell the difference. He closed his eyes and the faces of his friends from his old life flashed before his eyes. "I miss my friends."

"Hm."

"And food. Real food. I miss not having a cheeseburger - one of the cheap, greasy things from McDonald's."

She laughed at that. It seemed like him to miss something like a cheeseburger. "Not one of those fancy foods? Like…caviar or truffle or…whatever?"

Nate visibly blanched at the mention of caviar. "My friend…her name was Serena, she loved truffles…but I never got a taste for the stuff. Same for caviar. I guess I was just a simpleton at heart."

"The Archibalds didn't really look like simpletons," she teased. It was nice to see her in such a light, Nate realized. She had not been so grief ridden in the past few months, though a shadow of sadness still followed her, she had been opening up more and more, and she was the member of the Cullen clan that he spent the most time with.

He didn't mind that at all.

"Nah, they weren't." Nate smiled, the very gesture feeling bitter on his lips.

Rosalie scoffed. "The privileged aren't really happy. I know I wasn't."

The newest Cullen laughed slightly. "They act happy. Mask it in drugs and alcohol and women, but really it isn't the kind of existence I'd pick for myself."

"Is this?" Rosalie asked.

"If by _this_ , you mean being here, with you, then I'd say yes."

He then turned his head, his eyes a mixture of red and gold, and locked his gaze with hers, watching her mouth open and close.

If he wasn't mistaken, he had just rendered Rosalie Hale speechless.

\---

When he asked about the Cullens that were paired off, and how they were so close, almost conjoined at the hip, Edward gave him a simple explanation.

"Our love is different from humans. It is instant, all-consuming, and irrevocable."

Nate wondered why a vision of Rosalie passed through his mind as soon as he finished his sentence.

\---

Two years had come and gone. It was now the exact day he had been turned. Nate had gotten somewhat used to his new life, though he did tear the occasional door off its hinges and sometimes forgot to control his strength when shaking hands with regular people.

He was pleased after feeding that night to find that his blood red eyes had turned completely into a butterscotch hue, matching his adopted family's completely. The change of his eye color had been delayed by a few slipups, but now he was in control of his bloodlust, able to push it to the back of his mind without much difficulty. After seeing the change, he had been so excited that he rushed downstairs and announced it to them all.

In a way, it was as if he was actually finally initiated into the Cullen clan. Though he had been a part of their little group for the shortest time now, it seemed, the fact that his eyes had finally made the transition to gold was the physical proof he needed. Almost like a birth certificate.

Alice flittered around the place, saying something ridiculous about throwing him a party. A _birthday_ party, now that he had completed his first two years as a vamp - a newborn nonetheless. Edward looked at her while pinching the bridge of his nose, while Bella was tucked safely underneath his arm. Jasper grinned lazily over at her while Carlisle and Esme laughed at her antics.

One face was conspicuously absent from this small celebration.

 _Rosalie…_ he thought, his eyes darting from place to place, wondering where the blonde woman could possibly be.

Edward looked over to him, wondering if he should say something, but he didn't, thinking it best if he figured what was going on himself. Nate looked up the stairs and made his way through the halls of the second floor, looking in each of the rooms. She wasn't there. But she was in the house…

Finally, after checking all of the other rooms, he arrived at his own room.

_No, why would she be…_

He opened the door.

There, sitting on the foot of his bed - it was there just for appearances, he was sure - and looking contemplative as well as anxious all at the same time, was Rosalie. She was wearing a white sundress with her hair falling freely down her shoulders. Her feet were bare, tapping against the hardwood floor ever so slightly.

"Rose…" He walked forward, his steps unsteady, even for a vampire. The commotion downstairs had ceased, and he knew that his other family were outside somewhere, probably hunting.

He had gotten only a few steps into the room before it shut behind him. His eyes had followed the fluid movements, but he still couldn't believe that she had moved so fast and he could keep up with it. She was standing by the door, hand on the wooden surface. She was looking at him, a strange emotion playing deep in her eyes, as if she wasn't used to being the one who made the first move. After all, he didn't blame her. Her mate had died just two years ago today and here she was, obviously trying to tell him something with those expressive eyes of hers. He wondered if she was insane, because he had seen that look before - the look of _want_ she was giving him right now was unmistakable - and it only seemed crazy that she would want _him_ , the person who was indirectly responsible for the death of her mate, in that way.

Her hands were suddenly loosening the buttons of his shirt, making their way down to hook themselves in the loops of his jeans. Nate looked at her with incredulity, wondering if he was imagining this moment. Of course, he had thought about her this way, many, many times. She had interested him in numerous ways ever since that fateful night of the New Years party, and now that she was actually showing him that she wanted _that_ , it was kind of hard to believe.

"Nate," she started, her voice soft and cautious, "we've known each other for two years."

"Y-Yes." Since when had he become a stuttering fool?

"I…after Emmett died, I didn't know how I would go on. It's sad how I make fun of all the silly romantics when I did exactly what so many people would've done - I broke down over the loss of my love. And…"

Nate just looked at her, wondering, as she bit down on her full bottom lip. It was a strange thing to see her so nervous. It was definitely not a part of who she was. He had seen Bella bite her lip many times, but when Rosalie did it, it set off a fire inside him, as intense as the fire that had changed him, but pleasant.

"You helped me through it. Though you don't realize it. And I am truly grateful."

Nate smiled at her, his lips curving in a familiar grin. "You're welcome."

Rosalie scoffed, looking at the floor to gaze at her bare feet before moving her gaze back to his. "And…I just wanted to tell you that you…mean more to me…than I originally thought."

Nate scoffed, a gesture that was both incredulous and mocking. "Really, now?"

Instead of answering with a typical 'yes', the blonde vampire launched herself forward, tackling him on the bed and pressing her lips against his own with a passion that Nate had never felt - or been a part of - in his life. He found himself kissing her back, his hands winding in her hair, marveling at the warmth that this woman gave him.

In between kisses, Rosalie managed to taunt him even more by saying, "Does this answer your question?"

Nate chuckled, the sound rumbling in his chest as he felt the temperature of his skin seem to skyrocket, though he knew that was physically impossible. "Somewhat."

Rosalie growled and silenced him with a kiss to his full lips and her hands fisted themselves in his hair, tugging not-so-gently as her mouth warred with his for dominance. She situated herself on his lap, hitching her dress up as far as she could. Nate felt his own growl growing in his chest as he switched their positions.

Their lips met and they let the slow-building passion consume them.

\---

He twirled his fingers through her hair as the sun rose in the window beside them. She nuzzled into his embrace, bringing herself closer to him, and he wrapped an arm around her thin waist.

Rosalie pressed her mouth against his neck and he felt a smile curve his lips.

The day was unnaturally sunny and their glittering skin cast little flecks of light on the walls. Nate felt his smile grow even larger as he remembered Edward Cullen's words.

_"Our love is different from humans. It is instant, all-consuming, and irrevocable."_

In that moment, as he gazed at Rosalie's lithe form, he had no choice but to believe it.


End file.
